Mr. Bean's jokes

BRAIN TUMOR
> Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain
> tumor.
> Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
> Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
> Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
> Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
> Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
>
> ****
> MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
>
> Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
> Mr. Bean: 9
> Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
> Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just
> twisted the figure,
> the answer is 6!!
>
> ****
> WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
>
> Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
> Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
> Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the
> alphabet yet!!
>
> ****
> QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE
>
> Friend: What are you looking at?
> Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
> Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
> Mr. Bean: four asterisks!
>
> ****
> Friend: how many women do you believe must a man
> marry?
> Mr. Bean: 16
> Friend: Why?
> Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4
> poorer, 4
> better and 4worse.
>
> ****
> CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND
>
> Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is
> it Ok?
> Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a
> horror film.
> I didn't see any picture.
> Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
> Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
>
> ****
> Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
> Friend: condolence, my friend.
> After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder
> Friend: what now?
> Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
>
> ****
> MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING
>
> Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an
> elevator for 4 hrs.
> because of a power failure.
> Mr. Bean: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on
> the escalator for
> 3 hrs.
>
> ****
> Spelling lesson
>
> Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of
> successful....is it one c
> or two c?
> Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!